Gazing

During the past four years, my gazing practice (Thodgal) has progressed through periods of activity / inactivity and ups / downs depending on my interests, inconvenient energetic side effects after the practice or general deterioration of my cutting through practice (Trekchod) that has come in the way of any fruitful Thodgal practice. Thorough preparations necessary for stable high quality gazing practice have also been an important factor and practice sessions shorter than an hour have not been impractical for developing the visions.

Systematic training during the past 6(?) months or so seems to have paid off. Tummo and guru yoga form a solid foundation for gazing, which is revealing new territory in the form of brightness, colors, structures, layers and stability. 

After the sessions, the view of awakened awareness takes a form of lucidity, transparency and clarity that seems rooted in the visions. 

The Pendulum

The development of both Trekchod and Thodgal has been nice and stable due to the benefits of inner fire. This has resulted in high energies and a pendulum-like oscillation during the day. One mode may last for a minute, an hour, a day or an entire week or anything in between. The differences between the modes of operation are so huge, putting into question their credibility and also the natural tendency to react to them with aversion and greed.

1. Discomfort all over the body, the throat feels physically blocked, hard to swallow, intense hard vibrations in the upper part of the central channel, inability to form sentences and communicate clearly, mood swings, have to force myself to speak, dysfunctional thinking patterns, problems with coordination.

Despite the difficulties (or because of them), the awakened awareness has a tendency to arise spontaneously during the day and the process of purification is clearly felt.

2. Feeling of neutrality

3. Feelings of brightness, transparency, clarity and emptiness, body grounded and in a state of alert immovability, feeling the flow, being ”in the zone”, deep contentment and confidence, body immaterial, feelings of sacredness and purpose in everything, stable concentration and view, inherent knowing how arising situations should be handled, able to communicate clearly and accurately

The awakened awareness has a tendency to a arise through the gate of brightness and stay in a subtle and refined state.